Hunger Games, A Parody!
by Grade.A.Gen
Summary: Guilty of making scenes in the Hunger Games laughable? Who isn't? Still canon...just, parody canon. Featuring the POVs of Katniss, Peeta, Madge, and Gale, starting from the very beginning. Drabble-fic. Accepting on the side filler prompts!
1. Katniss

**A/N: So I decided to start a little somethin' somethin' for myself. It's pretty parodical?, I think that's the word, so I hope it makes you laugh! I just felt like I should do it, even if its mildly offensive when looking into the actual meaning of the book. So….yeah.**

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"_**Katniss, you are the best thing that's happened to me since sliced bread."**_

_**-Peeta to Katnisss**_

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**Chapter One:**

**Katniss**

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Katniss skipped along the very merry roads of District Twelve. The sun was shining, babies were laughing, and—

She stopped to admire the bread on display. It taunted her, with its fluffy looking outside and what she could just imagine was a warm, tasty, jelly-filled—

"Damn you, Peeta!" She suddenly shouted with seemingly no reason at all. Even she was surprised with herself. The only boys she knew were Gale and a blonde he/she that Katniss always saw creeping in the shadows.

...

_Somewhere getting an epic beatdown from his mom…_

"A-choo!"

"Did I say you could sneeze?!"

_Smack_.

"Sorry, mother."

...

Now, as all of you have probably realized by now, the sun was _not _shining.

Babies weren't laughing, either.

Although Katniss _did _hear a warbled scream that may or may not have been apart of one of her hunger induced delusions.

And finally, instead of skipping, Katniss was _not_ so happily crawling through the_ not_ so merry roads of District Twelve.

The poor girl.

All of a sudden, she had this weird feeling that the stalkerish he/she would miraculously see her dying and give her a loaf of bread. Not because he was a kind person, but because then who would he stalk? Gale?

Yeah….. no.

She didn't think he was his/her type, anyways.

After flopping around a bit, she resigned herself to her fate, sitting under a dead tree.

.**Five minutes Later.**

_This is it, I'm really going to die. In front of a bakery. Oh, the irony, it kills. Literally._

While she went on with her internal rant/eulogy, she saw a rock. Or she thought it was a rock.

It kind of looked like bread.

She lifted it to her mouth...

Nope, not bread.

"Not bread, not bread!"

She held her swollen jaw. Katniss rubbed at it for a few seconds, thinking of ways she could just _die already_, because the rock was _hard_, and she was pretty sure she chipped a tooth.

But then she got an idea.

It was a _rock_.

A nice rock.

A pretty rock.

A large—

_Crash!_

Katniss walked away with an armful of bread.

_Meanwhile:_

Peeta felt like he had missed an important scene that would have had him forever labeled with the unfortunate moniker of the _"Boy with the Bread."_

/

/

/

End.

**So, first chapter. Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? I'll take 'em all! Review~**


	2. Madge

**A/N: Woah! I'm getting excited! 100 views have never felt so good. :D Hope you guys enjoy this one! Madge's POV after Katniss and Gale delivered her strawberries, so it's still loosely in line with the movie? Kind of. A bit…Yeah. **

**Anyways, enjoy!~**

**Disclaimer: Didn't do this in the first chapter, but since I actually mention Collins in here, I might as well. Love her books to death, but they are NOT mine. I just like to twist them, haha.**

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_**Don't you wish Madge was in the movie? **_

_**I do.**_

_**-Anonymous**_

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**Chapter Two:**

**Madge**

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As Madge slowly savored a strawberry that was just a tad too ripe and just a little overpriced, she thought of her friendships.

Or friendship, actually. She really only had one.

Katniss.

Katniss, who happened to attract all sorts of delicious boys, including that feminine boy who worked at the baker shop.

.

Don't ask how she knew the he/she was male.

It had nothing to do with her following him into the bathroom one day out of _pure curiosity_.

.

.

Nope, nothing to do with that at all.

Anyway.

Madge was happy for Katniss, she really was. What kind of friend would she be if she wasn't?

But Madge was also a smidge jealous.

"That tomboy-ish freak, getting all the men…..eyecandy…..Gale…Cato…..Peeta…"

At Peeta's name she viciously bit into the rest of the strawberry, then reached for another, not minding the bloody color staining her mouth. She therefore looked like a rabid, man-eating monster…..

That still looked like an angel.

Madge continued on her way, oblivious, while people around her slowly grabbed their children and slipped away.

.

"Ma, where are we going?" a random child asked as his mother tugged him out of the girl's path.

"Far, far away, hunny…." Under her breath she muttered, "Damn! Knew I should've just sucked it up and moved to District Ten…"

.

Madge heard nothing but the sound of rage.

Which doesn't have a sound, but…eh. It was metaphorical, anyway.

"I mean, Maysilee's niece here! Shoudn't I have had more book time?! Like, at least give me a scene in the movie!"

.

Fourth wall breakage—

Achieved.

.

"And don't even get me started on the books. Thanks for caring, Suzanne Collins. Thanks for caring for about one sentence! Urgh!"

Ok, so maybe Madge was a lot jealous. And a bit angry.

Wasn't that smart for Spoot the Magic Llama to give her the Hunger Game books for Christmas.

Not smart at all.

Gale happened to pass by at the moment and decided to live up to the more asshole-ish aspect of his personality.

So he accidentally—on purpose—trolled the strawberry basket Madge was carrying.

.

And all was silent.

.

She stopped.

.

He stopped.

.

The remaining patrons in the street stopped.

.

And the _too ripe, overpriced_ strawberries fell to the ground, practically exploding on impact.

.

"Sorry."

.

"F— you, Gale. F— you."

.

.

.

End.

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**A/N:** **Loved it? Hated it? My review door is always open! Hope you liked this from Madge's POV. And that thing she said about Cato? Seriously, doesn't anyone find it weird that he's so stuck on killing her? I mean, he could be just a psychotic narcissistic chauvinist who's just stuck on killing her. Either way, he's obsessed. It's kinda sick. Or morbidly romantic? Still don't know what I'm going to show him as, hahaha.**

**Thanks to:**

**1DGreaserFanGirl for reviewing AND favoriting! Hope ya like this! It's somewhat longer than the last one, too. ^_^**

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**~Review~**


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